Hello, my name is Bill and I am a Call of Duty addict. They say admitting is is the first step right? Well here it goes then. I play COD so much that it has become ingrained in my daily routine. Sometimes I skip meals to play, sometimes I skip sleep to play, and sometimes I play even when I don’t really want to. It has engulfed my life in a way that not many games do. With that all out on the table I’m going to share with you all some confessions of mine: little quirks or habits I’ve picked up through my relationship with Call of Duty.

Throwing Knife Never Leave The Scene of a Crime Without It
I love my throwing knife so much in Modern Warfare 2 that I always pick it up after I’ve killed an enemy with it, even if it means I die in the mean time. I just can’t help myself! Its gotten to the point where if I’m sneaking up on someone to get a throwing knife kill and I miss I’ll actually run over to pick it back up and try again. There’s no logical explanation for my ridiculous obsession with the throwing knife, yet I find my self time after time scavenging the rubbled ground to get it back!

Enemy Care Packages = Crack
Have you ever killed an enemy who was running full force straight into enemy territory? Then they most likely suffer from the condition getthatenemycarpackageitis. A disease I have regretfully contacted. I will drop everything and ignore whatever I’m doing to steal an enemy care package. And I know it’s a horrible decision and that I’ll most likely die half a dozen times before dying care package-less. But I succumb to the temptation of the enemy care package every time!

Grenade Launcher + Wasteland = Heaven
Now I’m by no means a noob tuber, but on Wasteland (you know the level that has the underground bunker in the center of it) I get a sensation that can only be sated by launching obnoxious amounts of grenades into the center of the bunker and watching my points come rolling in. I think I’m more amused at how stupid some players can be than anything. I mean how many times are you going to make a run for the bunker? It’s as if there’s a nuke launch button hidden somewhere inside and they’re all trying to find it. Inside the bunker is not an advantageous camping spot, it leaves you vulnerable on all sides and at a lower elevation, perfect for noob tubing. So until you noobs figure that out I’m going to keep tubing you until you learn.

Knife Me and I’ll Knife You
I don’t consider my self a very angry person. In fact, I try to avoid controversy as much as possible. I’m a pretty humble human being. But boy oh boy does Call of Duty bring the worst out in me. So much that I actually once shouted into my mic “If you stab me one more time, I’ll stab you in real life!” Now in my defense the kid had just knifed me about a half a dozen times in a row. His ninja-like ability to stealthily stab me in the back was impressive, but very annoying. That brings me to another point. Knifing someone in COD is disrespectful. Well it is in my book anyway. If you stab someone, it makes them feel like crap. I mean when you have an automatic weapon that fires 60 rounds a second and someone sidesteps you and stabs you, you’re going to feel pretty pathetic. But that’s the point of it, knifing someone is the ultimate diss and thus deals the most satisfaction.

Watch The Pave Low Please!
I can’t help but repeat “Watch the Pave Low Please” whenever a Pave Low is called into battle. For those of you who live on the East Coast and frequent the Jersey shore will cringe after reading those words and for that I apologize. For those of you left out, a popular boardwalk in Wildwood, New Jersey has a tram car service that transfers visitors from one end to the other. Because the tram drives directly on the boardwalk it blares, “Watch the tram car please!” every 10 seconds or so. Not funny to the majority of you, I know, but the few that get this will instantly get why it’s humorous.

Ammo Care Packages are Left as Traps
If I call in a care package and it happens to be a resupply of ammo, I won’t collect it. Instead I’ll be parked behind a car, tree, or maybe just a corner and wait for the bees to flock to the honey. So many people suffer from getthatenemycarpackageitis, the disease mentioned above, that I can easily rack up 5 kills this way before someone actually takes it. As you can see even bad care packages can be used in a way to maximize casualties. After reading this maybe you’ll think twice before making a break for that unprotected enemy care package.

I <3 COD 4
Modern Warfare 2 is a great game in its own right, but I can’t help but miss some of the subtle charm the original had. My most missed memory is of the “Let’s do this Marines!” shout that was said before each multiplayer match when playing as a Marine. I’m unsure of why I loved this little pep talk so much, but there’s no denying that I do! “Let’s do this Spetsnaz!” just doesn’t roll of the tongue quite as well.

Malfunctioning Controllers
Through the many hours I’ve spent submerged in Modern Warfare battlefields I found that my controller becomes utterly useless. It will simply malfunction. An enemy soldier will jump out from around a corner, I’ll slam my analog stick down and the controller will refuse to deploy my knife resulting in my grizzly death. Well, that’s how I view it in my head anyway. In reality I most likely just need a break from staring at the screen for obscene amounts of time. For me, blaming the faulty controller is a much more respectable way to blame the 1:3 kill to death ratio I just suffered.

My Girlfriend Just Slayed You
My final confession is that half of my frags are not product of my own hand, in fact they are done by a female! Yeah, that’s right boys, the majority of the time your head gets fragged off is because my girlfriend absolutely owns at Call of Duty. Due to the lack of a 2 player online competitive option my girlfriend and I switch off between matches to give the other a turn. Sure, it hurts my ego a little bit when she receives the Fall camouflage for her weapon way before I do, but then it makes me laugh uncontrollably when she slaughters an enemy team consisting of elite clan members.

Having trouble raising your kill to death ratio? Then check out Wirebot’s Game Survival Guide: 12 Tips For Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

Have any Call of Duty quirks of your own? Share them with us below!