If you have been following my impressions you already know how infatuated I am with Platinum Games newest IP, Bayonetta. As a rabid fan with an insatiable thirst for more sassy English witches with tons of guns I have came up with some spin-off and merchandise ideas that would keep me happy until the second installment gets announced.
Halo, Dead Space, and Dante’s Inferno have all seen animated releases over the last couple of years. So there are already potential consumers solidified in this market, making it an easy sell. Furthermore, none of the previous animated video game adaptions lend themselves to the medium in any special way, but Bayonetta does. Already Bayonetta is an over the top action romp-and-stomp that cranks everything up to 11, throw in an eccentric story line that was written with japanese audiences in mind and you have the perfect ingredients for an anime. American audiences interested in anime do not want more “animated features” they want anime and they want it done proper with a renowned studio like Bones at the wheel.
I’m not a toy collector by any stretch of the imagination, but there’s no denying that there are many of them out there. And what do they like? Highly detailed, intricately crafted figurines designed by a notable artist. Todd McFarlane is by far the most appreciated and commercially viable toy maker in this department. Bayonetta is an elaborate character with tons of painstaking details given to her hair, jewelry, and weapons. Let’s not forget of course that as a women Bayonetta is one of the most sensual characters to ever grace our LCDs. There is no doubt in my mind that a Todd McFarlane Bayonetta figurine wouldn’t be eaten up by hungry Bayonetta fanboys.
Picture this, a Baldur’s Gate arcade rendition of Bayonetta where 3 players can hack away angels together. 1 arcade cabinet, 3 joysticks, and 9 buttons is all that would be necessary to control Bayonetta, Rodin, and Luka as they travel into Purgatorio to riddle giant angels full of holes. Arcades have been in steady decline since the early 90’s, but I don’t think it’s because of the home console market, I think it’s because the games are cheap watered down editions that show little innovation and incentive to drive to an arcade to play. I’d drive miles to play Bayonetta in an arcade with a bunch of friends!
I have faith that Bayonetta could work as a film if treated with care and handled by an established director, my choice would be either Stephen Chow or Ang Lee. Stephen Chow is known for blending his comical charm with special effects, two things that will be necessary to capture Bayonetta’s essence on film. The problem with Stephen Chow is that sometimes he can take things too far out in left field, which might not be too bad in this case, now that I’m thinking about it. Ang Lee handles things a little more seriously. He is less fanatical than Chow and more whimsical. If Lee were to handle this adaption we would get a more mature, possibly darker, version of the film. Both renditions would do the game justice, but knowing Hollywood we would get force fed another Uwe Boll cringe-fest.
Lets take a minute and think about Bayonetta’s game play. It consists of linking melee combat with gunplay to stir up whirlwind attacks needed to crush enemy angels. We already know the Wii can handle melee combat through its “inventive” waggle controls and we’ve seen how beautifully the point and shoot controls were handled in Resident Evil 4. Do we need much more for Bayonetta to work on the Wii? I don’t think so. Waggle to punch/kick and click the trigger buttons to shoot, seems like a match made in Paridisio to me. I know I’d dust off the ol’ Wii to hair-chump some angels.
PuzzleQuest works because it blends RPG elements with casual puzzle gameplay. What does that mean for gamers? For one thing it means that you can basically plop any backstory into the game and have it work. The Bayonetta version would substitute the newly appointed soldier with Bayonetta her self and the rival kingdoms can be replaced with varying angels. Colored shapes can be linked together to trigger explosions of bullets or the summoning of special hair-demon attacks. Since PuzzleQuest involves magic and special battlefield effects we could alter the magic to work with the Alchemy system from Bayonetta and Witch-Time would be an effective battlefield effect. As you can see because PuzzleQuest is very generic in story, it becomes a plug-and-play title that can have its backstory manipulated to fit just about every franchise. Developers need to see this opportunity and make something happen.
Bayonetta’s fashion sense is impeccable. A clunky pendant adorns her neck and magnificent jewel incrusted glasses sit perched upon her nose. Cos-players would go absolutely nuts to get their hands on a pair of high end designer frames modeled after Bayonetta’s flashy specks. And they wouldn’t look bad atop my bookcase either!
With Platinum Games announcing its next project as Vanquish it may be a while until we get our second helping of Bayonetta. Hopefully with a little luck and some serious spell casting we can summon up one of these proposed ideas to hold us over. Be sure to check out my First Impression and Gameplay Update #1 for Bayonetta to hear more rabid fanboy praise.
Have any Bayonetta merchandise or spin-offs you would like to see happen? Make them known below!