Sonic the Hedgehog: Five Ways to Save the Series

After watching the new trailer for Sonic the Hedgehog 4 (you can check it out here), I immediately became overwhelmed with visions of breakneck speeds, awesome loops, and classic music. Then, I remembered that these are the same people who drove the franchise into the ground and introduced us to Amy Rose, horrible pop-metal, and inter-species romance.

So what needs to be done for Sonic to effectively return to his glory days with Sonic 4? Here’s a few suggestions:

1) Keep it simple story-wise.

Remember the days when Knuckles laughing at you counted as a cutscene? The majority of Sonic games are better off that way. Just have the story be something about Dr. Robotnik stealing all the chaos emeralds for his giant earth-conquering machine. Oh, and change his name back to Robotnik — Dr. Eggman is stupid.

2) No romance

I don’t want to see Amy Rose in this game, and I also don’t want Sonic swooning over any humans. Romance is great for Final Fantasy — not for hedgehogs.

3) Co-operative 2-player functionality

This one may be controversial with some people, but I always liked playing Sonic best with someone else as Tails. Sonic 2 had it down pat — he could help at times but he wasn’t exactly the focal point. It’s even more fun when your buddy sucks and you’re spending half of the game watching Tails eat it.

4) Stay with the classic music and sound effects

Sonic games are so fast-paced and intense that having some bad guitar music playing over them is just overkill (and don’t even get me started on the singing). The music of Green Hill Zone is perfect: pleasant, old-school, and fun. You need to bring back some of that nostalgia in order for the series’ older fans to get back into it.

Also, don’t have Sonic talk. Definitely don’t have Tails talk. If you remember that old cartoon with the chili dogs and Steve Erkell, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

5) Make it fast

Need I say more? There’s nothing better than getting 100 rings in 30 seconds…and then backtracking because you missed a bunch of little goodies along the way. Sonic games have held up so well partially because of that feeling of speed: it’s something that other games haven’t been able to replicate well, and sticking in mini-games or treasure hunting ruins the feeling.

Of, and an extra point that probably doesn’t even need mentioning.

6) No Big the Cat. You all know why.