Let’s Reinforce Gaming Stereotypes! GameCrush Launches

Did you hear the one about how guys who play videogames can’t get a date? Or the one about how all gamers are socially-inept manchildren who can’t make contact with girls if they tried? How about the one where girls apparently don’t play videogames? All these implied messages and more are included with the all-new, all-exploitive, stereotype-reinforcing services of GameCrush - the online E-Escort services that charges $8.25 and all of your dignity, per game.

Yes, the internet and commercialism have together birthed a new low. Pay money to play videogames with PlayDates. PlayDates get paid to do this kind of thing with you poor sods who are dumb enough to fork over your money, as well as any tips you want to leave to your cute new best friends. At the moment it only supports 360 and a few casual games, but plans are in the works to include the PS3, Wii and WoW support as soon as possible.

It works pretty much as you’d expect. It’s free to join up and to browse photos, even to chat to some of your PlayDates - who can set their mood to ‘flirty,’ or ‘dirty,’ which seems just a little binary - but in order to ‘get your game on’ you need to buy GameCrush credits. It’s $8.25 for 500, each six to ten minute gaming session costs 400 credits, leaving you with 100 credits to ‘tip’ or to save up for another gaming session. Supposedly the costs are the same as buying a girl a drink at a bar, but with the added disadvantages of not actually being face to face with the girl you’re talking to, and not having any alcohol.

Hilariously, despite constant insinuations and innuendo in their press release, the company avoids any mention of the fact that what they are essentially running is an e-escort business. Apparently, what the two of you - that’s you, the paying customer, and her, the PlayDate - is entirely up to you. And so is what you two do on their video chat. After the session, you can rate your PlayDate on their hotness, gaming skills and flirtiness, with higher-rating girls getting preferred placement on the site. Wow, this is just sounding better and better.

Within hours of going live, the site was hit by various internet pranksters making fake accounts, which have since been integrated into the site, hiding their hilarious images. These included profiles for Valve Software’s Gabe Newell (dislikes: developing console games), a bear and a Grill (A “Gamer Grill,” if you don’t get the horrible, horrible pun).

The site reportedly hired most of their PlayDates via Craigslist, advertising for girls who wanted to earn money while videogaming. It seems fairly likely that most of the girls who answer probably will be, you know, genuine people just trying to score some easy cash by doing what they love — videogaming. It also seems likely that about half their customer base will be the worst half of the internet, and the other half of their customer base is going to be people trolling the first half of the customer base.

Either way, the site has definitely been noticed in the wider world, no doubt due to news stories such as this, mainstream media sites picking up the sadness of this all, and people flocking to talk with REAL LYFE GIRLZ OMG. Their main site has gone down under the strain of it all.